How to Reach an Unresponsive Friend

We all have that one friend. You know, the one we spam text until we get a reply from a week later? It’s frustrating. Makes you wonder what’s so unimaginably important that they can’t take two seconds to send off a simple text from a phone that never leaves their side. Unless, of course, their phone is dead, which, let’s be honest, could more than likely be the case with this particular friend.

I understand your pain. You’ve sent a billion texts. You’ve called them countless times, yet they still won’t get back to you. Good thing our technological world has provided a plethora of ways to contact people, even when our phones are out of commission. Here are four of those less-thought-of ways to hopefully speed up your inattentive friend’s response time.

1. Contact the Inner Circle

Want a quick and easy way to know what your friend is up to? Contact the people closest to them.

Shoot the boy/girlfriend a text. I’m sure they know why your friend hasn’t been responding to your desperate cries. Having the significant other pass along your desperate need for contact will more than likely reach your friend. This will work best if you have some sort of relationship with the boy/girlfriend. Otherwise you may just seem a little creepy…

You can even turn it up a notch and get the parents involved. Tell Mom or Dad you’ve been trying to get a hold of their child for awhile, but you haven’t gotten a response. Instill a little worry. Doesn’t matter how old your friend is. Your friend’s parents will surely get to the bottom of your friend’s mysterious disappearance. Once again, contacting the parents will work best if you know them to some degree, and if they are somewhat involved in their child’s life.

2. Spam Their Facebook Notifications

If you’ve tried texting and calling, perhaps their phone isn’t working. (Gotta give them the benefit of the doubt, right?) So the best thing would be moving to a different medium: Facebook.

Everyone and my grandmother has a Facebook account. Probably most of your friends have had an account since they were twelve–regrettably so. This means their wall is chalk-full of embarrassing posts to sift through. Revive the most ridiculous ones by liking or commenting on them.

(Bonus: I’ve even posted one-word comments on pictures so my friend would have to piece together a message by clicking on them all!)

No time to sift through your friend’s entire wall? Not a problem! Just like everything you see. Your friend will wonder why they’re so popular with the 247 new notifications, only to realize they are all stemmed from your desperate cry for communication.

3. Post and Tag an Embarrassing Picture

Contacting the inner circle fall through? Did the billion notifications fail to spurn a response? Then you have no shame to progress to this step: posting a ridiculous picture.

Friends constantly steal each other’s phones to take stupid selfies. And now you can use them as the perfect ammo. Find the least flattering selfies of your bestie tucked away in your phone gallery. Then shamelessly tag your friend and post it to any social media platform with a cheesy caption to encapsulate your mission: “Missing. Anyone seen this goon?”

If your friend has any sense of dignity, he/she will pounce on the opportunity to right the wrong and to delete any embarrassing evidence you posted on the internet. They’ll no doubt have to contact you for that.

4. Drop By Unexpectedly

If technology has failed you up until this point and your friend doesn’t live too far from you, I believe you have every right to charge their front door for an unexpected visit. Granted, your friend may not be home, but you can surely leave a post-it on the front door with a few choice words. Deep down it’s in the name of love, right?

If your friend happens to be home–bonus! Squeeze them in a bear hug for not being dead before you sucker punch their shoulder. Tell them how their absence made you feel forgotten or slighted, but communicate it gently. You don’t want to lose your friend in any confrontation you might have. Be honest with them in a loving way. Mutual respect will only strengthen your friendship.

If they’re a decent friend, he/she will apologize and explain the reason behind the disconnect. Sometimes certain friends are just honestly bad at communication and openly admit to this. If your friend honestly struggles with communicating and claims to be working on the issue, then you should give them some grace. Help them by reminding them of their commitment to become better communicators–when they finally decide to get a hold of you, that is.


Have any ridiculous stories of how you tried to contact an unresponsive friend? Maybe you have other ideas on how to get a hold of a friend gone MIA. Let me know in the comments below!